Depression 101
by mmPeachyMoosemm
Summary: With some help from Michael, the entire office discovers one of Jim's best kept secrets. Set during Season 2, after "Drug Testing" but before "Conflict Resolution."


Author's Note: This is a story I wrote about four or five years ago, and even then the setting was a few seasons earlier than that, in Season 2 after Episode 20, "Drug Testing" and before Episode 21, "Conflict Resolution." I always felt that there was something sad about Jim in the earlier seasons, and although I'm not normally a fan of unrequited love (my roommates favorite subject) I accepted it and enjoyed it in early seasons of _The Office_. I have to apologize to all of _The Office_ fans out there by saying I have not seen many episodes past maybe season 5? Possibly 4? Because of that, this fanfic is just a dalliance with the fandom that I wanted to post in case someone out there could get some enjoyment out of it. So I apologize that I am not planning to enter this fandom permanently, but hope you'll still enjoy the product of my brief foray.  
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"Um-hm … yes, that is correct. So can I put you down for 50 reams?" Jim asks sitting at his desk holding a phone to his ear and staring intently at his computer.

Jim sits in the conference room, "Selling paper can be quite rewarding, actually. I mean, think about the looks on the faces of these people when the truck arrives with, say, 50 reams of paper. You just know you made someone's day." His face holds the happy smile a moment before it fades like a light going out.

Back at Jim's desk he continues. "Great. Yes, thank you for your time. We'll have it shipped to you in about a week. Okay? Great. All right." He sets the phone down and leans back in his chair for a moment eyes traveling to the ceiling before closing. As quickly as he leaned back, he sits upright and leans forward to type on his computer. Pam just watches.

Pam sits in the conference room, "Jim is great at what he does, but I don't think he's extremely happy. I mean, I don't think any of us at Dunder-Mifflin could have seen ourselves in the paper business … except maybe Michael … but, what I mean is … Jim just isn't quite … himself, I guess."

Dwight pulls out his stapler and attempts to staple a small stack of papers. Nothing happens. Dwight tries again, and then a couple more times in quick succession before slamming the stapler onto his desk and turning to Jim.

"What did you do?" Dwight asks angrily.

Jim doesn't even look up, "Nothing."

"Don't play with me, Halpert." Dwight says, leaning closer over the desk. "I know it was you. And if you can't undo whatever you did to my stapler, I'm going to Michael."

Jim looks up for a moment, face blank, before he shrugs and turns back to his computer.

Dwight glares before grabbing the stapler and stalking to Michael's office. As he knocks on the door he turns around and gives Jim a smug look. Jim doesn't look up, but Pam does, as does Phyllis. Dwight throws the door open and marches into Michael's office.

Michael sits at his desk across from Oscar who has various papers and folders in front of him. Dwight looks straight at Michael. "Jim has ruined my stapler; this has to stop. The perpetrator _must be_ _punished_."

Michael groans and puts a hand up to cover his eyes, while Oscar holds out a hand for the stapler, "Let me see that."

Dwight reluctantly lets Oscar take it. Oscar opens the top before looking up at Dwight. "Dwight, you're out of staples, Jim didn't do it."

Dwight stands there, shocked for a moment, "But … he could have taken my staples out. It's still Jim."

Oscar shakes his head, "I don't think so."

Oscar sits in the conference room, "Jim doesn't do little pranks, like removing staples. He does big things, like desk moving or, or putting things in jell-o. This is just Dwight getting paranoid, which is almost a prank in itself … actually I was kind of hoping for a good prank. Jim hasn't pulled one in a while …" Oscar pauses and looks thoughtful.

Back in Michael's office Michael sighs, "Yeah, just go Dwight. We're having a very important meeting about …," he looks at Oscar before looking back at Dwight, "…paper."

Dwight looks fed up. "Fine. Just … fine. But remember, when you find your stapler completely empty, don't say I didn't warn you."

Dwight closes the door and returns to his desk. He speaks to Jim, but refuses to look at him, "So you may have won this round, but I warn you … never again."

The camera zooms in on Jim, as if waiting for him to look at the camera. Jim doesn't, but instead continues typing, the same blank expression on his face. After a moment Phyllis watches before turning around, somewhat disappointed, and Pam watches, her brow scrunched in hurt confusion.

Jim is busy getting his coat on, and then throws his bag onto his shoulder before striding over to the reception desk. Dwight looks up in surprise, but almost instantly looks down again to continue working.

Pam looks up with a smile but then frowns slightly as she notices him with his coat and bag. Jim leans onto the counter, "Hey Pam. I'm off to a doctor's appointment and depending on how quick they are I might be gone a couple of hours."

Pam gives him a little confused frown before asking, "Have you talked to Michael?"

Jim nods, his mouth formed into a grimace-like position, "Yup, Michael Okayed it, and if he forgets I recorded the exchange on this paper," he lays a paper onto the counter, "And he signed there, where it says that he did in fact say I could go."

Pam's eyebrows begin to crease slightly, "Well, okay, I guess that's fine. Um … well, be safe, or something."

Michael suddenly walks out of his office, practically shouting, "That's what she said!"

Jim and Pam both turn to look at him and Pam looks up at Jim while rolling her eyes. Jim just stares at Michael for a couple of seconds, not even looking toward Pam. A hurt look crosses Pam's face, but even more she looks a bit concerned. After another moment Jim turns around and says, "Well, see ya in a bit, Beesly."

Pam just watches him and responds softly, "Yeah."

Toby sighs, "Michael, I understand how you feel about employee drug use, but it is not within your rights to search through your employees' personal belongings."

Michael cuts him off, "No, no, I'm not going to search through their personal belongings. No, I'm going to look through their desks and make sure their-"

"-Michael that's-"

"-No, Toby, I'm not done, just to make sure they don't have any illegal drugs or anything that they should not, you know, be in possession of."

"I understand your concerns, Michael, but if you have a concern about any employee specifically it should either be filed with me, or if you have some sort of proof than you can take it to the police-"

"-No, no-"

"-or you can have drug testing again, but your way is not allowed."

"I'm not going to subject my employees to you or to the police. I am their boss and friend and they should be glad to have me trying to help them like this."

"Michael, there will be serious consequences if you go through with this search."

"Fine, fine, I won't. Happy?"

Toby frowns a little. "Okay. Just as long as you don't." He gets up to leave Michael's office.

Michael mutters, "Whatever."

Only Kevin, Pam, Oscar, Meredith, Phyllis, and Jim are left in the office, as they all try to finish up putting things away and getting coats on. Kevin walks over with Oscar to stand by Jim's desk.

"Hey, Jim," Kevin says, "The rest of us are going out for drinks. You wanna come?"

"I'd love to hang out, but um … I've been trying to stop drinking. Just trying to be … healthier, and stuff."

Meredith grunts, "It's not something you can just give up."

Pam says, "Really, why is it, Jim? I mean, you enjoy a good beer as much as the next guy."

Jim sighs, "Yeah, but I just … yeah, you know, it's my decision and I really don't feel like being bugged about it."

Phyllis is sitting in the conference room, "Jim snapped at Pam. Jim never snaps."

Kevin sitting in the conference room, "That was so crazy. Jim is always up for a drink and just suddenly gives it up? No way. My theory is that he has a new girlfriend who's like, one of those non-drinkers. Because Jim wouldn't just stop on his own."

Back in the office everyone looks a bit startled but then seems to try to shrug off Jim's sudden attitude change. It takes a moment, but Jim suddenly seems to realize what he just said.

He looks apologetic, "Hey, guys, sorry … I didn't mean to snap like that. You weren't really bothering me."

Oscar shrugs, "Don't worry about it, man."

"Thanks," Jim says a little smile playing on his face for the first time in a while.

"I hate to be a nag," Phyllis says shyly, "But are you coming, Jim?"

Jim turns in his chair toward Phyllis. "I'm feeling a little funny, so I think I'm just going to head home, if you don't mind. But you guys have fun."

Pam looks concerned, "Are you okay? Like, would you want one of us to drive you home?"

"No, I'm good. Thanks though. See you guys tomorrow."

Jim sits in the conference room, "Yeah, I um … read this article about how bad alcohol is for your body, so I'm just not gonna drink anymore. That's all." He shrugs.

The entire office is empty and Michael creeps in with a large smile as he faces the camera. "So, everyone's gone, including Toby, so now I can do my job as boss and friend of these people." He walks over to Angela's desk and begins rooting around.

"Aha!" Michael cries suddenly, pulling out an orange pill container and holds it triumphantly. He spins it around to read the label out-loud, "'Martin comma Sprinkles.' Ah, crap." He quickly puts the container back before walking over to Dwight's desk.

"So, no success thus far, but never ever give up hope, my friends. That is the key to becoming a boss and to keep said position as boss. If someone doesn't get a joke right away, just continue and eventually they will get it and find it hilarious."

After rifling through several drawers Michael sighs loudly in frustration. He looks at the camera, "Yeah, well Dwight must keep all of the good stuff at home."

He goes around the desk and sits at Jim's desk. He grins like a child before saying, "Look at me, I'm Jim! Everyone loves me, and I have this super-big crush on Pam 'cuz she's hot, but boo-hoo she's engaged. Right? Right?" Michael starts laughing uproariously.

Michael's laughter dies down to a chuckle as he opens one of Jim's drawers. His eyes get bigger. A moment later he reaches down and pulls a pill container out. His eyes are huge as he stares at the camera and mouths, "Jim."

Commercial Break

Michael sits in his office, "Am I bothered that Jim is taking drugs? Well, maybe a little … but the thing is Jim is like our youngest guy here besides Ryan, I mean, he's like a teenager. So obviously this is just teenager rebellion. And just because Jim is like, the coolest guy here, it doesn't make drugs cool. I mean, my duty now is to make sure Jim isn't a role model to my other employees. Instead someone I trust should be the role model … someone, for instance, me. So of course I'm going to talk about this."

Back in the main office, Jim opens a drawer and searches through it, as first casually, then frantically. He gives up and puts his head in his hands.

Michael steps out of his office and calls out, "Conference room, fifteen minutes, my little druggies."

For the first time this episode, Jim looks into the camera, eyebrows up.

In the conference room everyone sits talking quietly to each other, evidently trying to guess what Michael is up to.

Individual shot of Pam, "So, we already had drug tests not too long ago and we were all clean … but yet Michael called us druggies. I'm truthfully nervous and scared to hear what he's going to say."

Michael walks into the room, which on the back wall have pictures of deformed people, including a picture of Edward Scissorhands. Michael looks down before looking around the room.

"Can anyone," Michael pauses for dramatic affect, "tell me what all of these people have in common."

Kevin calls out, "They can all use disabled parking spaces?"

"No, Kevin," Michael sounds disgusted. "No, that's not what they have in common. Come on. All of these people have been harmed from drugs!"

Kelly raises her hand and immediately starts talking, "But Edward Scissorhands didn't do drugs."

Oscar interjects, "And Michael, most of those people are from third world countries. That man is suffering from leprosy, and those other ones are just pictures of infected bug bites."

Michael gets flustered, "But they got your attention, all right? They were just to get your attention."

Phyllis speaks up, "You could have gotten our attention with real pictures of people on drugs."

Michael shakes his head angrily, "Thank you Phyllis, but I didn't ask your opinion, did I? No, I didn't, and by doing it this way, all of you are listening, right? Right, Stanley?"

Stanley looks up from his crossword puzzle, "What?"

"Never mind, never mind." Michael stops as if trying to remember what they were there for. "Okaaaay, what I'm here to talk to you about is extremely important. Alright?"

A couple of grunts come from around the room. Michael continues, "We talked about drugs a couple of weeks ago, but evidently not all of you got it, so we're doing a little review today. Now Jim," Jim looks up startled, "You weren't ready before to share about the ills that befalled your family. Can you … now?"

Jim looked around quickly and then at Pam before clearing his throat and saying quietly, "I don't think … uh, no … no."

Michael nodded as if in sympathy, "Right, right. However you can attest that drugs can ruin people's lives, right?"

Jim nodded seriously, "Oh yeah, I can. Just … not so," he paused as if extremely sad, "so soon." Pam tries to hide her smile from her seat next to him.

Michael nodded again. "Well, as your boss and friend, I have taken it upon myself to make sure that you don't bring drugs to the workplace." He looked around while everyone sits in silence. "And in doing my duty I have uncovered something that some of you may find very upsetting."

Creed's eyes go wide and he looks extremely nervous and begins to fidget slightly.

"One of us," Michael looks around for effect, "Has begun to use prescription drugs … to get high."

In the background, Creed practices looking surprised, mouthing, "Me?" over and over.

"You know who you are," Michael continues. "Jim here," Michael points, "has told us that some members of his family have struggled with drugs. So my question is," he pauses again for effect, "Why did I find these," he holds up the prescription container, "in your desk, Jim?"

Jim's mouth drops open and he sits stunned for a moment. Everyone turns to look at him. Pam's eyebrows are way up as she turns to look at him. Michael looks sad but ready to listen as he says, "All I want is an honest answer, Jim."

Jim still looks shocked but he shakes it off and says slowly, "Michael … you took that from my desk?"

Michael nods, "Because I care about you."

Jim takes a deep breath, "Michael … I have a prescription for that."

"Um-hm," Michael says incredulously. "you're a young man, Jim. I doubt that you need male enhancers like," he reads the container, "'Zoloft' at your age. You just take them for the high you get, don't you."

It was as if the entire room is slapped while Michael stands proudly as if he has just scored a point in a game. Pam puts a hand on Jim's shoulder, and Phyllis makes a pitying sad face. Even Stanley looks over at him with a look akin with understanding. Ryan stares intently at his feet and although Angela looks uncomfortable, she also looks saddened.

Jim grasps the bridge of his nose and takes a deep breath before saying, "Michael, those aren't 'male enhancers.'"

Michael pretends that he wants to hear Jim's explanation, "Um-hm … and what do you call them?" He looks at the camera with a smile on his face.

Oscar looks appalled, "Michael, just stop." Toby agrees quickly, "Michael, this is inappropriate."

"Shush," Michael says, "Let Jimmy speak in his own defense."

Jim sits still for a moment before letting go of his nose and looking up calmly, "They're for depression."

Michael bursts out laughing, "Yeah, like you're depressed." He continues laughing while the entire room stares at him in shock. After a moment of sitting still Jim stands up and walks out.

Michael looks around at his employees. "What?" he asks, oblivious.

Angela gives a disgusted huff, "He was serious, Michael."

Michael's eyes grow a little wider and he stops laughing, but he still looks incredulous. "You're joking, right? I mean, it's Jim. He isn't depressed."

Pam rolls her eyes and then addresses the room, "I'll go check on him."

Toby sighs, "Michael, just because a person doesn't look depressed doesn't mean they aren't. I mean, obviously Jim didn't want us to know about it. It's kind of a touchy subject."

Michael stands looking around in confusion as one by one his employees stand up and file out of the conference room and back to the office. Michael glances at the camera before looking away and then strides out of the room. He pauses to watch his employees sitting back down into their seats before retreating to his office and closing the blinds.

Pam stands next to the men's bathroom door and pleads, "Jim, come out. Please? Just talk to me, okay? Or you know what, you don't have to talk, just come out."

There is no answer from behind the door. Oscar walks into the room and stands next to Pam. In a low, concerned voice he says, "How is he?"

Pam gives Oscar a defeated look, "I have no idea. He won't come out, he won't even say anything."

Oscar nods at the door, "Maybe we should just let him be alone for a little while. I mean, that was a big bombshell dropped on everyone and I'm sure he's really embarrassed."

Pam looks back at Oscar, "What if he … you know … reacts badly?"

Oscar raises an eyebrow, "You mean what if he tries to commit suicide?"

Pam's eyes are wide and terrified as she nods.

Oscar tries to smile comfortingly at her, "I don't think so. I mean, yeah he obviously is depressed but I don't think he's suicidal. Besides, my guess is he was trying to keep his depression a secret so we wouldn't treat him like some suicidal nut-case." Oscar pauses and looks back at the door before turning back to Pam. "Listen my brother suffered from depression as a teenager and he reacted very similarly. Yeah, depression is bad, but we shouldn't treat Jim any differently because of it. We have to be a little more understanding, but not treat him like he's made of glass."

Pam looks at the door her eyes still full of concern before turning back to Oscar, "I don't know if I can do that."

Oscar just nods. After a moment Pam turns to him again, "Oscar, you're a guy. You can actually go into the bathroom. Can you just go talk to him?"

Oscar obviously wasn't prepared for that and his eyebrows are raised high into his hairline. "Uh, Pam, I don't think-"

"Please, Oscar?"

Oscar lets out a deep sigh before opening the men's bathroom door. Inside Jim sits on the floor, face blank, eyes intently focused on his hands. Oscar meanders over and leans against the wall towering over Jim. After a moment of hesitation he allows himself to slide down. Oscar stares straight ahead. Neither one speaks.

Finally Oscar says, "Jim?"

Jim gives his head a little bob to show that he's listening.

"You know that Michael didn't mean to … tell everyone about it." Jim nods again, slowly. "And you do know that none of us will treat you any differently because of your problem."

Jim looks up sharply at Oscar as his brow begins to wrinkle. Jim sighs and rubs his face quickly as if trying to rub away a bad thought, "That's not true. Now any time I have a bad day everyone will be going, 'Guard the stairs to the roof, we don't want him to jump.' Or, or what about when we're all watching fireworks on the roof? I start to walk toward the edge to get a better view and everyone will be like, 'No, Jim, your life is worth more than that.'" He pauses to stare off at a far wall and then begins again, "If I drift away in thought for a moment, everyone will completely wig out. And I really don't want everyone to feel like they have to tip-toe around me. I mean, I'm on anti-depressants, I'm getting help, I'm fine."

Oscar nods seriously, "Yeah, you will be fine. But you just have to convince yourself of that. If you can't convince yourself, no one else will ever believe you." After a moment of silence Oscar stands up and leaves. Jim remains sitting, staring at the wall, deep in thought.

Commercial Break

Jim is leaned over intently at his desk typing as Dwight tugs at something inside his desk. After a few more strong tugs, his stapler flies out and hits Dwight square in the face.

Under the table Jim holds a stick with a large magnet on the end of it as he looks at the camera smiling and wagging his eyebrows.

Jim sits in the conference room, "So I had some hard times recently and it was getting pretty bad. You know, just … stuff."

Pam smiles at Jim from the receptionist desk as he wheels out to show her the magnet. Moments later Roy strolls up to the desk, and the satisfied smile slips off Jim's face.

Voiceover continues, "But it's getting better, day by day. I feel better, and work's been pretty good, so that's nice. And everybody's been great about the whole thing, very supportive."

Phyllis gives a tiny wave and Jim gives a wave back before looking at the camera and shaking his head with eyes wide.

"Except for Michael. He doesn't quite get it."

Jim holds a mug up for the camera to see that states, "World's Best Suicidal Employee."

"But there's hope for everyone … and definitely for me. Actually life hasn't been this good for … a long time."

The camera watches from across the street as Jim walks down an empty sidewalk in the rain, head down before pausing to slide down a wall, sitting as the rain pounds down.

"Yeah … Everything's great."


End file.
